Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why is the word "democracy" not in the preamble of the US Constitution?

I see through liars

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why is Canada letting too many Indians in Canada?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I can count

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

AI 'co-pilot' to speed up cancer diagnoses at Leeds hospitals - BBC

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can read

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What is the cost of implementing synchronized traffic lights in a mid-sized city?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Is there an MBTI personality that is more or less likely to handle stress?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What are some hard truths that MAGA needs to hear?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fakery

What is your favourite summer outfit? Why?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

How can someone determine if their partner is in another romantic relationship, particularly if they do not live together?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Did you ever accidentally have sex with your brother/sister in India?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

After a series of tumors, woman’s odd-looking tongue explains everything - Ars Technica

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why are some people afraid of monsters?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

What is the most ridiculous obviously false verse in the Bible?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Rangers' Zibanejad pens heartfelt goodbye to Kreider after trade - NHL.com

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t buy bullshit

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard